The Daily Mirror’s aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader who does not listen to her doctor when her husband is trying to get pregnant

I found a cigarette in my pocket

Dear Coleen,

My wife and I were trying to get pregnant, and our doctors advised her to significantly improve her lifestyle – quit smoking, give up alcohol, lose some weight, and so on.

However, he did not take it seriously, and although he refused to smoke at home, I found several cigarettes in his coat pocket.

I am angry with her because she knows how important a baby is to me. I don’t want to start a big conversation because things are stressful enough, but how can I make him listen?

What would you tell this reader to do? Give your opinion in the comments section

A resident of Coleen Nolan Mirror is a suffering aunt

Coleen says,

I have many friends who are struggling to have children and who know how stressful and depressing it can be. So maybe it’s the pressure that drives him to smoke. I think you have to be careful not to blame him for your situation, because it puts more pressure. And you have to be a team.

Why not focus on a healthier diet, because that’s something you can do together? If you find a cigarette again, admit that it is a difficult time, but you want to try it on the advice of your doctor. You can even set yourself a goal like “we will really work hard and give everything we have for the next six months”, so it feels like there is a time schedule and something to target.

If he is told that the problem is a way of life, it is difficult for him.

And if he is under pressure and feels guilty, he will feel stressed, and when you feel stressed, you want to reach for cigarettes or eat more.

I understand that this is nervous, because you probably do all the right things, and every month is a big disappointment.

But you have to understand how to do it as a team – with kindness and empathy.